Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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