Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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