Where is the hickey?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
