so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
