On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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