How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
