There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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