Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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