just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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