this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
