did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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