Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
