My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My penis needs a shock collar
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
