DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
