yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize