I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
a search helicopter?!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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