If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
