Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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