i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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