Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize