Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
