Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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