Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
