Midget sex pt 2 tonight
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
