I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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