ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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