Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
