you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
