He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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