I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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