Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
