So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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