Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
