the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
