is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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