xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
