glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
