i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
