I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
