You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I wish there were birth control emojis
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
