ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so let's talk penis.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
