Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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