wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
