Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
