you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
