Your dad touched me again.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
