I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize