apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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