Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
