the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize