Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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