Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
