fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
pop tarts are not kleenex
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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