Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize