Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
you never un-have a 4some
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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