he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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