after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
