We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
