I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize