Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What a fucking waste of an outfit
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
