i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
